Dadventure on the emotional side of applying for Parental Leave
In Part One of our series with Dadventure, we outlined the statutory entitlements for fathers and partners. In this article, we delve into the tools expecting dads can use to help them better manage the emotional side of preparing for parental leave, an often confusing and overwhelming task.
If you’ve ever gone looking for clarity about what you’re entitled to as a new father, you’ll know it’s not exactly a straightforward task.
The forms are confusing. The rules can sometimes feel contradictory. You’re trying to plan parental leave, support your partner, and be there for your baby, all while navigating a system that doesn’t exactly make it easy. It’s a challenge.
That stress? It’s real. And it stacks up.
You might feel:
Like you’re falling behind at work for wanting time at home.
Guilty for even asking what you’re entitled to.
Frustrated that your desire to show up fully as a parent feels like it needs to be negotiated.
You’re not alone. Everyone battles with these feelings and the challenge of figuring out what they can and can’t do.
So, when it all feels too much - the paperwork, the pressure, and the guilt on all sides - here are a few ways to protect your mindset and reclaim some control.
Yes, this might sound a bit woo-woo. Yet, scientific research at a cellular level truly shows that Buddha’s adage holds: We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.
1. Reframe the stress
Instead of thinking “I have to figure this all out,” try:
👉 “I get to show up differently than fathers before me. And I don’t have to get it perfect to make an impact.”
This is new territory for you (and often your workplace). It’s okay if it’s messy. You’re not failing, you’re paving a new path and understanding how to do what's best for you and your family.
2. One thing at a time
Trying to decode your entitlements, plan time off, keep your employer happy, and support your partner all at once? No wonder it’s overwhelming.
✅ Action: A Quick breakdown of priorities
Draw a quick list:
Right now: What has to be sorted this week (e.g. applying for leave, talking to HR)?
Soon – What can wait until after the baby arrives or once you’re back at work?
Ongoing – What do you want to keep checking in on (e.g. flexible work, mental load sharing)?
Breaking things down can minimise the sense of overwhelm in the moment and make it feel manageable again.
3. Protect your headspace
Stress thrives in silence and grows in isolation. Make space to get out of your own head.
We’re all different, so you can choose your outlet:
Writing person? Brain dump your stress every evening. Set a 5-minute timer and let it pour out. No filter. Just write what’s been on your mind.
Sketching person? Draw how you’re feeling, even if it’s stick figures and storm clouds. It helps your brain externalise what’s swirling around inside.
Talk-it-out person? Talk to your partner. Call a mate. Catch up with a trusted family member. Say the quiet stuff out loud.
The goal isn’t to “fix it”. It’s to give yourself space to process and look at it through another lens.
4. Find anchors of positivity
When stress is high, your brain is wired to notice what’s wrong. To bring in a little balance, build a small micro-practice of noticing what’s going right.
✅ Action: The 3x10 Practice
For 10 seconds, 3 times a day, pause and name something that’s okay:
A moment where you are feeling great and confident
A smile or laugh with your partner
The way your coffee tasted that morning
You’re not bypassing the stress. You’re adding perspective. It’s easy when we’re overwhelmed to feel that “everything” is hard. That’s very seldom the reality. All this practice does is help bring that positivity back to the surface when you find yourself slipping into negative thoughts.
You’re not meant to do this alone
Most dads feel the pressure to “handle it.” Quietly. Efficiently. Without bothering anyone else with their problems.
However, when we don’t name the stress and don’t allow ourselves space to acknowledge the tension, it leaks out. In our patience, our sleep, our relationships.
So let’s flip the script.
✅ Take the leave.
✅ Ask the questions.
✅ Talk to your partner and your manager about your options.
You’ve got this, and you’ll find everyone around you wants you to find the right balance if they can. Take the first step today.
How Crayon and Dadventure support fathers
Crayon and Dadventure partner with employers to deliver a better experience for new fathers.
Many employers that offer Crayon's Nest: Financial Baby Prep make it available to both primary carers and partners. The employee's spouse or partner is welcome to join them on the program, and many complete it as a couple.
Now for the important legal part: The information we provide is general and not regulated financial advice for the purposes of the Financial Markets Conduct Act 2013. Please seek independent legal, financial, tax or other advice in considering whether the content in this article is appropriate for your goals, situation or needs. The information in this article is current as at 8 Jul 2025.
Stephanie Pow
Founder and CEO, Crayon
Aidan Kyrke-Smith
Chief Dad Officer and Founder