Part Three: Talking About Asset and Estate Planning

Typically, the trickiest part of the process isn’t actually wrapping your head around the legalese - it’s talking about it with your loved ones. Given that we don’t like talking about money or death, it’s hardly surprising that many people find it daunting and awkward to start a conversation that involves both topics. Not to mention, it can turn into a highly emotional conversation very quickly when you start nutting out the details of what’s “fair” and what’s “right”.

As an expert who has worked with hundreds of families on this topic, Sarah recommends getting onto estate planning early into your relationship, especially regarding how you will classify or share your assets. Our lives generally become more complicated as we age, so the sooner you address this, the easier it will be.

We've shared our ideas below on how you can kick-start the asset and estate planning process.

🚨 Denotes parent-specific points in our guide.

Stress the importance of this conversation for everyone

🚨 “I’d sleep better at night if I knew the kids were going to be taken care of, at least financially, if something happens to us. Can we talk about putting a will and other legal safeguards in place?”

Make it clear that having an asset and estate plan not only protects you but also protects your children’s interests. It can avoid the time, stress and cost that falls to other family members when someone passes away or loses capacity without the correct documentation in place. Sometimes, explaining to your partner the stress you feel because this has not been addressed is enough to get things moving.

Talk about someone else

“My friend Amelia’s husband passed away without a will. It’s been more than a year, and she hasn’t seen a dollar yet…”

You could bring up a story you read online or something that happened to a friend or work colleague. Discussing someone else’s situation can often be an easier way to break the ice than discussing your own situation.

Use this article

“FYI: I just read this article - did you know that if we don’t have a will, it can take twice as long to sort out our assets when we pass away? That’s a long time the kids will be waiting…”

You could share our series with your partner. They may not be aware of the importance of this topic, which could prompt a chat.

Use a trusted advisor as the reason to engage

“Mum just revised her will, and she suggested we do the same. How about I set up a meeting with her lawyer to understand what’s involved in this.”

Yep, the good ol’ pin it on someone else. Let your partner know that your lawyer or a trusted family member has brought up the need for you to put an asset and estate plan in place. In this situation, it’s important to broach the subject in a way that’s focused on preparing for the long-term wellbeing of your family rather than preparing for the end of the relationship.

Wait for the topic to come up

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We understand the appeal of waiting for your partner to initiate the conversation - you don’t have to take that awkward leap - but you could be waiting a long time. As we touched on at the top of this article, asset and estate planning only become more complicated as time goes on, so earlier is better.

The last word

There’s no way to get around the fact that this can be an awkward conversation. And that’s okay - in fact, it can be worth acknowledging upfront that you and your partner probably won’t agree on all aspects of your asset and estate plan immediately. Differing views can actually lead to a better result because you’ll carefully consider all your options and make a well-thought-out decision together.

Finally, here’s a pro tip: make an agreement to revisit this topic each year. Our personal circumstances are constantly changing, so an asset and estate plan needs to be regularly reviewed to ensure it remains fit for purpose.

This is part of Crayon’s mini-series on asset and estate planning for parents:

Now for the important legal part: The information we provide is general and not regulated financial advice for the purposes of the Financial Markets Conduct Act 2013. Please seek independent legal, financial, tax or other advice in considering whether the content in this article is appropriate for your goals, situation or needs. The information in this article is current as at 13 December 2022.

All of our content is independent. Crayon provides you with accurate and valuable information you can use to make smart money moves for your family. We work with people we respect, and all collaborations are unpaid.